today winni and I were both ‘off sick’. A lot of hours to fill… I wanted to do some painting but I knew I had no chance if winni got even a whiff that I was trying to do something. So we got the paints out together and set up the table as a shared space and to start with we both worked on our own. Then winni decided she wanted to copy my painting and I decided I wanted to copy hers and she quite liked that idea. We got 2 new sheets of paper and sat opposite each other. I followed her lead and this is what we got to. It was a great thing to do. Apart from Winni enjoying being in charge, it was interesting slowing right down and trying to copy her mark making; applying the same pressure, moving the paintbrush in the same way and so on. It wasn’t at all easy and I had to hold my paintbrush in a different way to try and mess up my own habitual ways. I felt like we connected and while she did all the thinking and choosing the painting time went on much longer than it normally would. Big achievements!
Why is it such a big deal for you to say, “I love you”? did you never hear it as a child? is that why you can’t say those words out loud to her now?
sometimes it can feel sad to end something… for the first time it is so sad and hard, so many feelings rush in at once that tears burst, my heart aches and I feel so sad saying goodbye it feels like the end of something.